Did I just trigger the shit out of you with that headline? Good.
Forgiveness is a scam?!
"Whoa, what the fuck? What the fuck are you saying dude?"
"Forgiveness brings about peace."
"Forgiveness allows us to let shit go!"
"Forgiveness brings us joy and happiness."
"If we don't forgive, then we'd be stuck in a cycle of anger and unhappiness forever!"
"Forgiveness isn't even about turning something wrong into something right. It's about simply forgiving yourself so you can move on with life."
Ah sure, whatever. I heard it all before. These are the typical, good traits of what forgiveness brings.
But hear me out, what if forgiveness is a scam?
a dishonest scheme; a fraud.
What if forgiveness isn't all that it should be?
What if forgiveness is simply a hyped up idea that is used to market something or further one's agenda?
What if forgiveness doesn't actually work?
People get scammed all the time. People buy into scams. Smart people do. No one is invincible towards them. Hell, I've been scammed a shit ton of times. I kept buying courses by gurus when I first started out as an entrepreneur.
When you hear about someone getting scammed, you think from, "Oh man that's a shame. Fuck these scammers" to "Well if you're stupid as fuck then you deserved to be scammed."
So now, some (realistic) questions about forgiveness:
If it's so powerful, why must it be so hard to execute for some?
If forgiveness truly is the one, ultimate thing in life that makes everything and everyone good, why is there so much anger and pain usually involved during the journey?
If forgiveness is a no-brainer, why must be it be taught, over, and over again?
And if forgiveness is free and accessible, why is there war, fighting and shit going around all the time?
I call forgiveness a scam because:
- Just like how smart people buy into scams and proceed to lose time and money, people buy into the idea of forgiveness when they're simply not ready to forgive. Friends, families, news outlets and social media are always advocating forgiveness, but it will not make you any better if you're not ready. You'll lose time and energy when a conflict stirs within you, "Welp, this blog says to forgive my ex and move on. I shall do that. I fucking hate her still though. I can't believe I loaned her so much money! I hope she gets HIV from the next dude she sleeps with. Argh, fuck, here we go with the ruminations again..."
- All of us hope to be forgiven, but not all of us want to be the ones forgiving. We hope that our mistakes get covered up or we get to get away with it. It's like, "Oh shit. I actually made the same mistake as that asshole. Crap! Err... I hope nobody finds out. I hope everything magically disappears. Come on, I am a good person! It's totally different..." So, if you're guaranteed a disgusting amount of money from scamming people and able to get away with it, are you sure you will not take the chance? This can change your life. That said, we always take inspiration, or even enjoy hearing about the stories (or drama) of forgiveness, but when it comes to our turn, we realize it's a lot harder than we thought.
- Vengence is the answer. Because we are only human. No elaboration needed here. You feel what you feel and you know your own thoughts well enough. Shit happens to all of us. And for some, the shit is simply too huge and overwhelming. Forgiveness has no place here.
- People willingly buy into scams because people gravitate towards ideas that makes them feel good. That's why so many ideas out there are stupid. But at least, it's giving them hope. Perhaps you read a blog post today about forgiveness. You gave it a shot. You said you've forgiven that person half-heartedly. Boom, placebo effect. If that makes you happier than before, I guess you'd be the one asking, "Why not?"
- Too often, like how a scam is screaming, "Buy me! Too-good-to-be-true results guaranteed!", the advocates of forgiveness are doing the same, "Look at me! I forgave and have become this happy! You can have the same too!" But this is life. Chaos Theory rules and everyone has their own race. You need to run your own race and not let others do it for you.
Perphaps this has been the most cynical-as-fuck post about forgiveness you ever read.
I hope you can start thinking for yourself when it comes to forgiveness, and no, I don't mean that in a "thE MoSt ImPorTANT pErSON tO foRgivE iS yOurseLF" way, whatever the fuck that even means.
Just do your own shit and do what it takes to keep healing so you can be happy. Just don't hurt others along the way.
You gotta make the right, positive choice, no matter what. Because the alternative is the opposite of positive.
You gotta forgive.
I just scammed the fuck out of you with this post.