Let me just cut to the long story short, in fabulous bullet points:
. I am in the process of seeing a therapist.
. "Process? Don't you just walk in to see one?" No, to qualify for my subsidized rate with this particular service by the government, I need to go through a whole route of referrals and shit.
. So far, it's been like 4 fucking months.
. For my last appointment, which I thought was to see psychotherapist finally, it turned out to be to see the psychiatrist instead... again.
For those in the dark-
Psychotherapist- The person you talk to about all your problems while lying down on a comfortable sofa.
Psychiatrist- The person who diagnoses you and prescribe medication if needed.
Admittedly, I can't remember what appointments were made during my previous visit because it was so long ago. I may have forgotten some key details. Regardless, the wait was uncomfortably long.
. Said psychiatrist even asked me, "Have you seen the therapist?"
I was like, no.
"Oh... They have may slotted in another appointment because it has been 8 weeks since the last visit. They aren't sure if you're on meds too."
I then said, "Well I don't know what I am doing here then. I am not going to pay for this consultation. But since I am here, please pescribe me some sleeping meds cause I'm having trouble sleeping lately."
"So I am only paying for the meds right?"
"Yes. I'll make the call."
. I walked out of the room. Went to the phamarcy and collected my meds. I went over to the payment counter and lo and behold, I was charged for the consultation.
. I had to inform the person behind the counter about the amendment. After a little back-and-forth with her supervisor, the price was rectified, from $42 to $4.
There you have it, a long, grueling process which has been taking up a lot of time . What's worse is that I've to actually be on heightened alert to make sure I don't get screwed over.
And I am a functional adult. Despite all my shit, I still have the strength and will to get through the day and try again the next day.
I cannot imagine how tough it must be for a person going through depression and expericing suicidal thoughts.
I just wanted to say if you feel like the system is against you, it's not. I mean, the system wasn't created just to fuck with you.
It's just not perfect and never will be. It's also run by humans who are just trying their best.
It's frustrating, I know.
But just try your best to move forward and eventually you'll get the help you need. The light is at the end of the tunnel.
Keep it up. You're doing alright, okay?