My last serious, long-distance relationship ended horribly. Near the end it was going downhill with insane speed.
She was being difficult.
She stopped working and became lazy.
She became entitled, expecting me to provide for her without a word of thanks.
She would freeze me out whenever she became unhappy with me even though I didn't think it was my fault.
She started to text less.
And finally, she disappeared altogether.
I was reasonably upset and so, I simply concluded there and then that we had broken off because she didn't want me anymore.
All my friends were on my side of course, telling me what a terrible person she was.
"She is definitely cheating on you bro."
"She found someone else."
"Leave her bro. You can do way better."
Fast forward to a month later, she resurfaced. She texted me and said that she still loved me.
I was like, yeah no thanks and rejected her there and then.
She got hysterical and begged for me to be with her again. I was adamant and refused her. It was my turn to freeze her out.
That was it. We were done. Two and a half years of being together and it was finished. I moved on. The many trips I took just to be with her felt like such a waste.
Now, fast forward to another year later, she called me on my phone. I picked it up because it was an unknown number.
It was her. She said she just wanted to talk.
I said okay.
She kept crying and crying. She said she was sorry with the way she behaved. Two questions she asked me stood out:
"Do you hate me? Are you angry with me?"
Without much thinking, I simply replied, "No. I don't hate you. I am not angry."
And just like that, there and then, everything simply started to be good, or feel better at least.
We had a good chat catching up for a bit after that.
This is what I always tell people:
Sometimes, the act of simply saying you forgive someone, or that you aren't mad anymore, or that you're ready move on is truly enough for you to start making huge changes in your life.
I honestly had no plans to ever talk to her again. But she called me, and I picked up. This happened in my life and I don't question it. I certainly didn't listen to my friends either, all of whom were hell-bent on maintaining what a crazy person she was.
This is what I truly believe can help you.
Just talk. When you're going through a difficult period in your life, talk. Say something. You don't need overthink the entire situation or have a piece of result in mind.
You just need to talk to somebody you can trust.